Friday, April 23, 2010

holier-than-thou oprah

recently, oprah winfrey was asked, if she could share a meal with anyone, who would it be, and what would they eat. she said -- jesus and fried chicken. well, if there was milk or buttermilk in the soaking of the chicken, included in any kind of coating or gravy, or even in the same kitchen, that meal wouldn't be kosher. did jesus keep kosher? if so...

and, too, jesus doesn't strike me as a very good conversationalist, what with all that sanctimonious preaching to people (more like at people) and lack of interaction. it would probably be a very boring evening, if oprah could even get in a word edgewise!

i've considered the initial question for some time, and here's who i'd like to break bread with. first, socrates, the most entertaining of speakers; never a wrong word and the wisdom to judge himself ignorant. we'd have red wine -- no hemlock -- and tapas, which i think he'd enjoy very much.

i'd also love to share a table with voltaire, another brilliant conversationalist, whose trenchant wit would keep me in stitches. we'd have hot chocolate -- i hear he drank 20-40 cups a day -- and a nice ripe brie with fresh-baked baguettes and unsalted butter. maybe some grapes and pears, too.

finally, i'd dearly love to keep company with ben franklin, poor richard himself, an accomplished ladies' man with a silver tongue. you have only to read his autobiography to know that.

i can't decide what ben and i would eat, but it would probably include some alcoholic beverage, knowing his proclivities. maybe some roast turkey breast, prepared a la martha stewart -- it was, after all, his choice for our national bird. maybe with macaroni and cheese, also a la martha. i'd invite her to join us ...

but she's so busy that i wouldn't expect her to take me up on it ...

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